Embrace Your Individuality

What are the things that make you "you"? Sometimes we try to hide our uniqueness in order to blend in with the crowd. We don't want to be noticed. We want people to like us and so we try to not be controversial in any way. But God made each one of us special. He gave us our personality traits. He gave us our talents. Don't hide your light under a bushel basket! Embrace the person God made you to be!

Mary's Journey

Susan Handle Terbay, a fellow Catholic Mom columnist, graciously gave me the permission to reprint her article here. Visit Susan's website at www.susanhandle.com.


Mary’s Journey
by Susan Handle Terbay

The greatest gift parents can give their children is their love for each other. Through that love they create an anxiety-free place for their children to grow, encouraging them to develop confidence in themselves and find the freedom to choose their own ways in life. Henri Nouwen

The holy season of Lent is upon us. As an older mother I find that I now have more time to meditate and be able to put aside some time for solitude and reflection during the Lenten Season. As a young mother finding such times was a challenge and often I failed to succeed. A quick ‘Hi God, how am I doing?’ was about all I could pray during the day and ‘Thank You God’ before I went to sleep. Mass on Sunday was the only time I had for any serious time with God and even at that there were moments of distraction.

This morning as I thought about the next 40 days of my own personal journey of Lent, I thought of Mary and what her journey must have been like. As a young woman, I figured Mary might have had it pretty easy. After all, she had a husband who adored her, who made a decent living as a carpenter and had the ‘perfect’ Son. What problems could she possibly have to face? How could I as a woman and a mother even begin to relate to such a woman, wife, or mother?

First of all as a woman, Mary faced a lot of challenges in a culture in which she was subject to male dominance. Hmmm – let’s see, how many women around our world can relate to that? I don’t know for sure how much Joseph made as a carpenter. Financially things had to be challenging simply because they were Jews living under the rule of Romans. I’m sure any money made was subject to heavy taxes so a savings account was probably not feasible. Then there is the ‘perfect’ Son. I seriously doubt that Mary was ever called to school to sit and discuss Jesus’ unacceptable behavior, or having to reprimand Him for hitting a baseball into a neighbor’s window or taking the car away because of irresponsible choices.

Now as an older woman and mother, I look at Mary and I see a woman who faced the challenges of womanhood. She took it upon herself to visit her cousin Elizabeth, alone and pregnant. To me this speaks of a woman very secure in herself and her belief of her position in this life. She took on that journey with determination and made it. At the Wedding Feast of Cana, she is the one who spoke up about the wine, and by so doing, she is the one who launched her Son into public life with a simple statement: “Do whatever He tells you.”

If Mary was willing to say ‘yes’ to God about being the Mother of God’s Son, then I think she certainly managed the household very well on whatever Joseph made through his carpentry.

While Jesus may have been the Son of God, His life wasn’t troubled free. He certainly faced challenges in this life because of His actions.

I can only speculate what family life must have been like for Mary, Joseph and Jesus. My gut tells me there was lots of love between them, expressed in various ways and a sense of respect and acceptance of each other; a great foundation for a young boy to grow to manhood. We don’t read much in the Bible about Joseph or Mary. We read snippets of Mary and what we read about her are powerful moments. But for me it is what we don’t read about her that speaks more of how powerful a woman she truly is and how we can look to her as women and mothers in our own journeys. Through her own life choices, her love of Joseph, her love of family and friends and certainly her love of her child, Jesus, she laid the groundwork, the foundation of who Jesus became. She was the human force behind Jesus. In a quiet unassuming way, she gave us a map for our own journeys.

Mary felt the same pain as all mothers feel when their child gets hurt, or knows the worry of when a child leaves to go to an event and she knows of the laughter and giggles at the jokes and silliness of a child’s antics. Mary knows because Mary was a mother. Mary knew, as we as mother’s know, that the child given to us is not ‘our’ child to keep but to have only briefly to love, nourish and encourage and then to let go to live their own lives. Mary knows the feeling of watching a grown child leave the home, knowing that the world outside her arms is not as accepting and loving. Mary knows the horror of watching a child die a horrific death and not being able to stop it but only to watch in agony. Mary knows the aloneness of having those she loved all her life gone from her life. Mary knows what it is like to be a woman and to be a mother because she loved, and said yes and took the chance to walk such a journey.

Motherhood is its own journey and even if we think no one understands, Mary does. May we look to her for guidance and for strength this holy Lenten Season and understand her pain on Good Friday and her joy on Easter Sunday because we are mothers and we do understand.

Medjugorje Message

This is the most recent message of Mary from Medjugorje, dated February 25, 2007.

Dear Children! Open your hearts to God's Mercy in this Lenten time. The Heavenly Father desires to deliver each of you from slavery of sin. Therefore, little children, make good use of this time and through meeting with God in confession, leave sin and decide for holiness. Do this out of love for Jesus, who redeemed you all with His blood, that you may be happy and in peace. Do not forget, little children: Your freedom is your weakness, therefore follow my message with seriousness. Thank you for having responded to my call.

To learn more about Medjugorje, visit www.medjugorje.org

A Woman's Stations of the Cross

During this season of Lent, I invite you to spend some time meditating on Jesus' road to Calvary, and on the ways we can better carry our own crosses in life.

1. Jesus is Condemned to Death

Jesus stood before Pilate an innocent man yet he was condemned to death.

Dear Lord, help me to not be so quick to judge others. Help me try to understand them and why they act as they do. Help me to see other people as you see them.

2. Jesus Carries his Cross

Jesus, already tired and broken, picked up the heavy cross to begin the journey to Calvary.

Dear Lord, help me, even when I am exhausted and worn out, to fulfill my daily duties. Please help me to accept the crosses that come my way and to bear them with a willing spirit.

3. Jesus Falls the First Time

Jesus falls down under the weight of the cross, yet somehow he finds the strength to get up and try again. Many times I feel overwhelmed and ready to collapse under the weight.

Dear Lord, help me to keep going even when I feel I can't take another step.

4. Jesus meets his Mother

Even in his darkest hour, Jesus' Mother Mary was there.

Dear Lord, please help me to be with others in their pain. Help me to offer comfort and consolation and to be a source of strength for others as they travel through life.

5. Jesus is helped by Simon

Simon wasn't looking to help. He was just one of the crowd, but he was pressed into service.

There are many times I don't want to help, either. It's easy to turn away and think someone else will do the work. Dear Lord, help me to help wherever I am needed. Don't let me turn my back on anyone in need.

6. Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus

Veronica reached out to Jesus, offering an act of kindness at a time when he needed it most.

Who do I know who is hurting. Dear Lord, help me to be the person who comes in to offer kindness when the whole world has gone out.

7. Jesus Falls the Second Time

Again Jesus falls and again he gets up.

Sometimes life can be so discouraging. It feels like the whole world is against me. I want to give up, to fall down and surrender the fight. Dear Lord, please help me to have the courage to continue. Help me to face another day.

8. Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem

Even in the midst of his pain, Jesus stops to comfort the women who were weeping by the side of the road.

It is so easy when I am in pain for me to just think about me. Dear Lord, even when I am hurting, help me to remember that others are hurting also. Help me to not be self-centered and to continue to reach out to those who need me.

9. Jesus Falls the Third Time

The end of the journey is near and Jesus falls again. He struggles to get up and continue one last time.

Dear Lord, help me to continue when the way is hard and I have lost all hope. Please guide my faltering steps.

10. Jesus is Stripped of his Garments

In the end, Jesus had nothing, not even his clothes.

Dear Lord, please help me to share my material goods with others, to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. Also let me help those who are emotionally naked and who have been left exposed to the world. Help me to never revel in another person's shame but to instead reach out a helping hand or offer a word on her behalf.

11. Jesus is Nailed to the Cross

With each nail, the pain grew greater, each blow a vivid reminder of our sins.

Dear Lord, thank you for your love for me. Thank you for dying to forgive my sins. Help me to do your will.

12. Jesus Dies on the Cross

Jesus suffered immeasurable torment on the cross, both physical and emotional. He cried out to his father in heaven, "My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?" Yet he also found the strength to forgive his persecutors.

Dear Lord, at times when I feel abandoned, help me to remember that you understand and are always at my side.

13. Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross

Jesus was taken down from the cross and his lifeless body was laid in his nother's arms. The pain Mary must have felt as she held her son. She was the mother of a convicted criminal. Truly a "sword had pierced her heart."

Dear Lord, help me to remember the mothers who have lost children to violence and criminal activity. Help me to pray for them as they suffer so much pain.

14. Jesus is Laid in the Tomb

And then there was darkness. The tomb was a place of transition for Jesus - a stopping place between death and new life.

Dear Lord, please help me as I go through my own times in the tomb, times when I feel lost and scared, fearful of change. Help me to see your light, guiding me safely to new life.

Challenging Moments

Isaac was having a rough day today - maybe it was the full moon. Maybe it is just that he is four and still somewhat prone to having "moments." We went grocery shopping, and as usual, he and David hung out at the on-site kids club they have in our store while Bernie and I did the shopping. As I always do, I picked up the kids at the kids club after checking out while Bernie put the bags in the car.

Except Isaac didn't want to leave and was quite vocal about this. Once I got him out of the kids club, he wanted to go look at some of the "Peeps" - those little marshmallow chicks that come out at Easter time. They had a huge display. He started crying that he wanted some blue Peeps - blue being his favorite color. I told him, "Not today but maybe there will be some in your Easter basket." He started screaming at the top of his lungs - "No. I want Peeps today!" Of course, I couldn't give in and reward the behavior even though quite a bit of negative attention was heading my direction. It was one of those wonderful moments in which people with no children look on and say "My child would never act like that!" and you can only imagine what a bad mother people must think you are.

I did manage to get both boys out of the store and to get Isaac's attention focused on something else. Alls well that ends well, I suppose, but public temper tantrums are never fun.

World Day of Prayer

According to this week's copy of Take Five for Faith, today is the World Day of Prayer. It is an ecumenical effort of women in 170 countries that encourages women "to become aware of the whole world and no longer live in isolation; to be enriched by the faith experience of Christians of other countries and cultures; to take up the burdens of other people and pray with and for them; to become aware of their talents and use them in service of society."

Sounds good to me. Join me in saying a prayer today for women all around the world.

Weaving a Family Rooted in Faith

Peggy Weber is a columnist for my local diocesan newspaper, “The Catholic Observer.” I have been a huge fan of her column “Spun from the Web,” in which she writes honest reflections about her life and her family as they relate to the spiritual journey, for the last twenty years. I had never before had the opportunity to read her self-published book, “Weaving a Family” until now. I had shied away from the book, thinking it would be a simple replay of her columns, but a friend of mine recommended it and pulled it off her bookshelf for me to read.

I was truly impressed by Weber’s writing in this book. Written in 1996, her children were 14, 12 and 8 years old at the time. Being a faithful reader of her column, I have had a window into these children’s lives. They are adults now and have all turned out amazingly well. This fact gives even greater credence to her parenting advice. She uses the metaphor of weaving a cloth to describe the way life shapes a family’s story. The pattern won’t always be what one expects. There will be colors and fibers one didn’t plan for. There will be times when the cloth comes unraveled and needs to be rewoven. The cloth is a work in progress.

Weber’s chapters cover the full gamut of family life, from the marriage that holds it all together to communication to coping with money matters and surviving the death of a loved one. It offers a mini-course in living a meaningful family life rooted in faith. Weber uses wonderful anecdotes from her own life to illustrate the lessons she has learned. Each chapter ends with a brief reflection and “Weaving Lessons,” a bulleted list of key points she hopes you will take away from that chapter.

As I read “Weaving a Family,” I found myself nodding heartily in agreement. This book is a wonderful manual for shaping family life.

I especially enjoyed her final chapter: "Having Faith: The Ultimate Weaver." I will leave you with this quote which really resonated with me:

"I truly believe that most parents I have met love their children dearly and try to provide them with the best in life. But so often they neglect the soul of the child. They leave them hungry for meaning in life and naked to face the world as an adult. . .
Nothing makes sense unless one believes. Children can choose to reject their faith or even change it when they are older. But it is the obligation of parents to communicate faith and morals to the family.

It is not enough to provide for the physical, educational, and emotional needs of a child. They hunger for a spiritual and moral life. It must be there."