There is More than One Way to be a Good Mom

The word vocation means a “call.” In Catholic circles, it refers to a call from God. Many women receive a call from God to motherhood. It is a noble call, a challenging call, a call that will frequently bring a woman to her personal limits and to her knees in prayer. Yet, it has immense rewards. Those of us who have been called to this life should be both thankful for and humbled by it.

Given that it is such a hard job, motherhood should be supported by all of us, in all its forms. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. While the outside world may be very supportive of working mothers, in Catholic circles, it is often seen as a “lesser” choice.

If a mother “needs” to work, then it is acceptable, but even then I’ve heard other mothers say that they feel sorry for these mothers. The woman who chooses to work? She is frequently portrayed as selfish and not putting her family first. It is as if there is one version of motherhood that is held up as the ideal – the stay-at-home totally dedicated mother (if you managed to nurse exclusively for at least a year, homeschool your children, and have four or more children, you get extra points) – and all the others fall a little short.

As a homeschooling stay-at-home mother, I am begging people to reconsider that position. I believe that I have been called to my current way of life for this season of my life. It certainly wasn’t in the life plan that I had for myself. Rather, God led me here. I am very fortunate to be able to work part-time from home. My situation was different in my past, and it may be different in my future. I hope to always do what God wants from me.

Is it then possible to believe that others are called to different forms of motherhood? I would argue that it is. Learning about St. Gianna Beretta Molla (1922-1962) expanded my own understanding of the vocation of motherhood. She is a patron saint of working mothers. She was an accomplished physician who loved her work. She truly felt called by God to be a doctor. She continued to maintain her own practice while having three small children.

St. Gianna would ultimately give up her own life so that her 4th child might live. That child followed in her mother’s footsteps and became a doctor herself. On the subject of vocation, St. Gianna wrote “What is a vocation? It is a gift from God, so it comes from God. If it is a gift from God, our concern must be to know God’s will. We must enter that path: If God wants, when God wants, how God wants.” God called St. Gianna to be both doctor and mother. She served God completely in both roles.

On a related note, Pope Benedict XVI recently stated that “it is necessary to concretely support motherhood, including guaranteeing professional women the possibility of balancing family and work. Too often, in fact, women are put in the position of having to choose between the two.” He encouraged governments to support maternity rights, including child-care centers.

God calls mothers to different forms of motherhood. Women should always pray to do God’s will in their lives. At the same time, all mothers should be supported and encouraged in their vocation, whether that vocation involves being a stay-at-home homeschooling mom, working full-time outside the home or any of the variations in-between. There is no one right way to be a mother. The only right way is what God is calling a mother to do at a given moment of her life.

What Faith Can Do to Ease Depression

As I have mentioned before, depression and I have a long history. Therefore, I am always interested in articles regarding ways to cope, especially ones that incorporate faith. Here is one by Kathleen Hockey that is currently on the Liguorian website:

What Faith Can do to Ease Depression

Our Lady's Latest Message at Medjugorje

Message from February 2, 2011

Dear children, you are gathering around me, you are seeking your way, you are seeking, you are seeking the truth but are forgetting what is the most important, you are forgetting to pray properly. Your lips pronounce countless words, but your spirit does not feel anything. Wandering in darkness, you even imagine God Himself according to yourselves, and not such as He really is in His love. Dear children, proper prayer comes from the depth of your heart, from your suffering, from your joy, from your seeking the forgiveness of sins. This is the way to come to know the right God, and by that also yourselves, because you are created according to Him. Prayer will bring you to the fulfillment of my desire, of my mission here with you, to the unity of God’s family. Thank you.

Book Review: "The Window to my Soul"

The Window To My Soul : My Walk With Jesus
by Tannia Ortiz-Lopes
Tate Publishing, 2004

"The Window to My Soul" by Tannia Ortiz-Lopes grew out of her experience of turning forty and reevaluating life. She went to a weekend silent retreat to "find herself" and in the process discovered a whole new relationship with God. She learned many valuable lessons. In this small volume, she reflects on this "New Beginning" in beautiful poetry and prose and offers valuable inspiration to others in the process.

The book is divided into four sections: A New Beginning, Walking a Mile with Job, Reflections while Walking with God and Jesus, and Through the Darkness. Ortiz-Lopes' poetry and reflections will resonate with all those who have struggled in their spiritual journey. She reaches out and trusts in God even when it is hard. She finds her comfort and strength in the Word of God.

One especially good reminder comes in her poem "To Deny Oneself Means . . .!"

To deny myself means - total surrender
to Jesus and His will
To deny myself means - total trust
in the Lord's will and His promises
of loyalty and redemption
through His only beloved Son, Jesus
To deny myself means - putting God
first in my life and then considering others
and myself in every daily situation.

To take up my cross and follow Jesus
means - to accept all the challenges and
temptations of every day and
confront them with the serenity
and assurance that Jesus is beside me
comforting me and strengthening me
all the way.

Beautiful Art by Julie Chen

Julie Chen is a fellow contributor to the Catholic Mom site. She also creates some incredibly beautiful artwork, like this Biblical reflection on what true love is all about. Please visit her shop for this piece and others: Lifeverse

Book Review: "Flight Plan: Your Mission to Become a Man"

Flight Plan
by Lee Burns & Braxton Brady
PDS Publishing, 2010

Obviously, I have little first-hand knowledge of the challenges that come with growing from a boy to a man, yet I am in charge of raising two boys who will all too soon be facing this transition. It is through those eyes that I eagerly read "Flight Plan: Your Mission to Become a Man."

Written by Braxton Brady, the chaplain of Presbyterian Day School, and Lee Burns, headmaster of the same school, "Flight Plan" grew out of the curriculum of that school. The book is designed for boys age 12 and up. It offers Bible based instruction and reflection questions on many of the challenges facing teen boys.

What does it mean to be a man? "Every male becomes an adult, but not every adult male becomes, truly, a man. Growing into that man takes careful thought and planning. . . Man's purpose in life is to glorify God in all he says and does."

How does one do that? By making good decisions when it comes to friendships, dating, sex, family, and school and keeping one's eyes and focus on God. Brady and Burns explore what it means to be a true friend, to actually love a girl (there is a wonderful list on what Christian girls wish guys knew!), to make discerning choices regarding music, books, and movies, and to maintain a good relationship with one's family. They also cover the changes and challenges of puberty. They offer a wealth of good advice.

The only negative was in the handling of self-stimulation. They certainly condemn it, but acknowledge that it is likely to happen, and urge boys not to fear that this will cause God not to love them. While this is all true, in the Catholic tradition, these acts are sins and must be said in confession.

"Flight Plan" maintains that God has great adventures planned for men who follow Him. It encourages boys to trust in God and turn their lives over to them. I plan to have my boys read this book in a couple of years. Honestly, there are some men I know who I wish would read it as well. If all men lived by the principles in this book, the world would be a far better place.

A Good Thing about Homeschooling

There are many good things about homeschooling. One of them, though, is that while the neighborhood kids have had a huge number of snow days due to the extreme weather this winter has brought, school goes on as usual here at home.

They get one snow day per year on the first big snowstorm. They do get to go out to play in the snow when their neighborhood friend wants to play and they do get to shovel, so they aren't missing out on any of the snow fun. But, homeschooling is flexible - we work around it, and still count it as a day of school.

Admittedly, my children feel that a great injustice is being wrought upon them. "But, Mom, every other kid has a snow day. It is so not fair!" I assure them, however, that all of their homeschool friends, are, in fact, having school, and that they will be very happy when they are done with school at the beginning of June and the other kids are in school until the end of that month.