Book Review - Choosing Forgiveness

Choosing Forgiveness
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2006

Who do you need to forgive in your life? What resentment do you continue to harbor? What walls have you put up so as not to be hurt again? Nancy Leigh DeMoss invites us to take an honest look at our lives and make the decision to forgive those who have hurt us.

DeMoss doesn’t resort to simple solutions. She knows that the pain that readers may have experienced run deep. There are situations of physical and sexual abuse. There are times when loved ones have been hurt deeply or have even been taken away through murder. No, forgiveness is not easy. Nevertheless, it is what God calls us to do.

Withholding forgiveness hurts not only the person we hold in bondage but ourselves as well. “Though it may feel right, though it may seem justified, though it may appear to be the only option available to us . . . The very weapon we use to inflict pain on our offender becomes a sword turned on ourselves, doing far more damage to us – and to those who love me – than to those who have hurt us.”

In addition, many have difficulty accepting God’s forgiveness. “When we refuse to forgive, something is blocked in our relationship with the Father. [There is] a clear connection between our willingness to extend forgiveness to others, and our ability to appropriate and experience His forgiveness for our own sins.”

DeMoss also addresses the need we feel to “make people pay.” We may feel that by forgiving people, we are not holding them accountable. We are “letting them off the hook.” This is not the case. “According to God’s Word, wrongdoers will get their just due.” Romans 12 tells us that “ ‘Vengeance is mine. I will repay,’ says the Lord.” “Forgiveness releases the accused from your custody and turns him over to God . . . the one and only One who is both able and responsible for meting out justice.”

DeMoss has penned a thought-provoking and insightful book. All of us can use the reminder to forgive, and the encouragement to work through the pain of our past, to wipe the slate clean. She makes the case that forgiveness is a decision, much more than a feeling. She invites us to reconsider what it means to forgive and most importantly, she calls us to forgive.