Building a Marriage One Nail at a Time

My husband and I recently celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. As a gift, my sister generously offered to take our two children for the weekend. Most couples would take such an opportunity to mark the occasion by having a romantic weekend away. Not us. No, we decided the best thing we could do for our marriage would be to build a shed!

Home improvement projects run deep in our marital bloodline. The home we bought as newlyweds was the ultimate fixer-upper. There was an uneven cement floor in the kitchen and a big hole in the ceiling. The bathroom shower was held together by a piece of metal and a rope that hung from the ceiling. Most of the bedrooms needed new ceilings and flooring as well and several of the windows simply wouldn’t open. There were no back stairs (we had a bucket to stand on to get down to the ground). The living room and dining room sported 1970s orange shag carpeting and there was a tree branch sticking through the roof that needless to say, needed to be replaced. I look back now and can’t help but wonder, “What on earth were we thinking?” But we were young, and what we lacked in financial resources, we made up for in enthusiasm and creativity.

I had never tackled a home improvement project in my life before I was married, but I was eager to make that house a home. Our first project was painting the living room and dining room to brighten them up a bit. Next, I tackled the kitchen walls. The kitchen was ugly, but at least it could have a happy color on the walls. Other projects would have to wait. We would save up some money and then tackle one room one project at a time. Around the time of our first anniversary, we decided to wallpaper the bathroom. It was a tiny little room and it was the hottest week of the year. Wallpapering looks so easy until you actually try to do it! This was the first time our home improvement skills were truly tested. The two of us were confined to that room sweating up a storm using language I certainly would not want my children to ever hear me using. I was convinced that if we survived that week, our marriage could survive anything! Over the years, I became much better at wallpapering (although it did become one project I would work on by myself), but we would go on to tackle many more projects together. We would rip out floors and kitchen cabinets. We would install ceilings and floor tiles and build bookcases. Eventually, we even got a real showerhead! Our results were not always beautiful and our methods were nearly always unorthodox, but we created many memories in the process.

After seven years, we sold the fixer-upper for a decent profit and moved to a new home in a much quieter neighborhood. There were no major projects to work on here (thank goodness!), but I missed working with my husband to create something. There is something to be said for working as a team. So, last year, we decided to build a gym set for the boys. We had a babysitter come over to watch the kids while we followed the kit instructions step-by-step. It took us twelve hours and a few minor mishaps (who writes those directions?), but at the end, the gym set was actually standing and usable. The boys loved it and we could say that “we built it ourselves.” Therefore, when the opportunity presented itself this year to delve into another project, I was eager to begin.

We spent two wonderful days bonding over wood siding, supports, and roofing. We got rained on and the hot sun beat down on us. We laughed and moaned at our aches and pains – these bodies just aren’t as young as they used to be! For us, home improvement is an exercise in working together and trusting your partner and keeping your sense of humor in the face of adversity. It is a reminder of who we are when we aren’t being parents and an opportunity to remember all the projects that came before.

Yes, we did take a break to go out to a fancy restaurant to commemorate our ten years together. We also took the time to watch our wedding video and marvel at how much everyone has changed. It really was a wonderful weekend of looking back at all we have shared. However, every time I look in my backyard and see that shed I will remember this anniversary and know that we are continuing to build our marriage one nail at a time.