Book Review: Sexual Wisdom for Catholic Adolescents

Sexual Wisdom for Catholic Adolescents

by Richard Wetzel, M.D.
Huntington Beach, CA: Sex Education for Advanced Beginners, 2009

Reviewed by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Note: This review contains adult material.

“Sexual Wisdom for Catholic Adolescents” was written to fill a need in the realm of Catholic Sex Education. It is designed for older adolescents and covers a wide range of topics relating to sexuality. It is intended to be used in the home, either with parent and child together or having the child read it on their own.

Dr. Wetzel begins with a good introduction to the biology of human sexuality. He then moves on to discuss sex without love, premarital sex, sexually transmitted diseases, pornography, artificial contraception and sterilization, natural family planning, infertility, and sexual deviations. He handles these topics in a straightforward, pull-no-punches manner. There are many things that adults will learn from reading this book.

One particularly insightful chapter is on “Good Sex.” In it, Dr. Wetzel divides sexual activity into five levels with Level 1 being “Perfect Sex: God’s ideal toward which we strive but can never achieve.” Level 7 is “Most severe sexual problems.” It is a useful chart because it clearly delineates different sexual behaviors. One can find where one is on the chart and know what he or she needs to work on to move closer to Level 2, the level which is as high level as we can achieve. It was comforting to know that everyone does struggle with sexual sin at some point. No one is perfect in this area.

One concern is that this book is recommended for older adolescents. Dr. Wetzel acknowledges that some will want to discuss topics with their children at a younger age. Many of these topics are only appropriate for those approaching adulthood. One would certainly not recommend going into detail with young children about the variety of sexual behavior or sexual codependency. However, children in today’s world are exposed to sex and are often offered sex at much younger ages. It is sad but true. Waiting until a child is sixteen to inform them about sex can be much too late. Eleven and twelve year olds are engaging in sexual activity. They need to be informed about the moral issues and physical concerns relating to this and they need to hear it from their parents. While one would not want to allow their eleven year old to read this book, it can offer a good starting point for parents to read and then choose what to discuss.

Dr. Richard Wetzel and the Sex Education for Advanced Beginners, Inc., the publishers of this book, are offering to supply as many boxes of these books that are needed for distribution at any high school, diocese, parish or other organization that will distribute these books to 11th graders at the cost of $2/book. Details are available at www.sexual-wisdom.com.

NFP Awareness Week

July 19 - 25 is NFP awareness week. In honor of it, check out the Natural Family Planning blog. And, if you have any general questions about Natural Family Planning, please post a comment and I will be happy to answer them or to direct you to a place where you can find the answer.

Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and the Brown Scapular

July 16th is the feast day of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. This is in remembrance of the day in 1251 when Mary appeared to St. Simon Stock, a monastic who was living in England. She appeared with the Brown Scapular in hand and uttered these words: "Take, beloved son this scapular of thy order as a badge of my confraternity and for thee and all Carmelites a special sign of grace; whoever dies in this garment, will not suffer everlasting fire. It is the sign of salvation, a safeguard in dangers, a pledge of peace and of the covenant."

A “scapular” was originally a type of clothing worn by monks when working. It fit over the shoulders and covered the front and back. The Carmelites were one such group that wore this vestment. Over time, and in light of the apparition of Mary, the scapular became a sign of trust in Mary as well as commitment to Christ. During the middle ages, groups of lay people began to become affiliated with the monastic orders. The orders in turn wanted to give these lay people an outward sign of that affiliation. For the Carmelites, a smaller version of the scapular was developed and worn.

There is much misunderstanding that surrounds the scapular, both in and out of Catholic circles. Some view it as superstitious. Others see it as a good luck charm – if I wear my scapular, I am guaranteed salvation regardless of how I live my life. This is not the case at all. Ewtn.com emphasizes that the scapular “must not be understood superstitiously or magically, but in light of Catholic teaching that perseverance in faith, hope and love are required for salvation. The scapular is a powerful reminder of this Christian obligation and of Mary's promise to help those consecrated to her obtain the grace of final perseverance.”
According to Carmelnet.org, the scapular represents the following spiritual meanings:

• It stands for a commitment to follow Jesus, like Mary, the perfect model of all the disciples of Christ. This commitment finds its origin in baptism by which we become children of God.

• It leads us into the community of Carmel, a community of religious men and women, which has existed in the Church for over eight centuries.

• It reminds us of the example of the saints of Carmel, with whom we establish a close bond as brothers and sisters to one another.

• It is an expression of our belief that we will meet God in eternal life, aided by the intercession and prayers of Mary.

Investment with the scapular requires a priest or deacon to place a blessed scapular over a person’s head while reciting a prayer to Mary such as the Hail Mary, Hail Holy Queen, or Memorare. Investment must be done with a cloth scapular, although after that time, the wearer may choose to wear a blessed metal scapular instead.



Prayer to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

O Most beautiful flower of Mount Carmel, fruitful vine, splendor of Heaven, Blessed Mother of the Son of God, Immaculate Virgin, assist me in this my necessity. O Star of the Sea, help me and show me herein You are my Mother.
O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and Earth, I humbly beseech You from the bottom of my heart to succor me in this necessity. There are none that can withstand Your power.

O show me herein You are my Mother. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee. (repeat 3 times)

Sweet Mother, I place this cause in Your hands. (repeat 3 times)

Redefining the source of our self-worth

In the July 2009 issue of St. Anthony's Messenger Barbara Hosbach writes of her experience of having MS and what it has taught her. It is a powerful article with lessons for us all. I especially liked her last two paragraphs:

My self-worth depends not on how much I do, but on accepting who I am: a child of God with strengths and weaknesses like everybody else. This being so, I can stop the mental contest of comparing myself with others.

It's safe to relate to others more honestly. When I'm not running on empty, I naturally have more to give. As a child of God, I'm known and cared for by the one who works for good in all circumstances. If I look for the good, I'll find it. That truly is good news!

St. Francis de Sales on love

God desires that we love each other as we have been loved. We don't have two hearts, one that loves God and one that loves others. We have only one heart that loves in varying ways. - St. Francis de Sales

Sometimes you just have to muddle through homeschooling

One of my favorite homeschooling magazines is Home Education Magazine. It was the first home schooling magazine I ever read and what started me on my journey to learn more about, and eventually to embrace, homeschooling. Sometimes, though, when reading about homeschooling you get the one-sided picture - how wonderful it all is! How natural! How much your child will love to learn! All of which is true - some of the time. And then there are the other times . . .

Karen Vogel wrote an article on "Mom-Friendly Curriculum" for the May-June 2009 edition of the magazine. This is the time of year when homeschoolers are selecting their curriculum for next year if they haven't already done so. There is always the search for the perfect curriculum - the idea being that if the curriculum is just right, your child will automatically start loving math and spelling. I love this paragraph she wrote:

Listen closely - It doesn't really matter which curriculum, or math series, or grammar instructions you use. Yes, you should take into account your kids' temperament and ease with topic - up to a point. Beyond that, they really just have to suck it up and do the work. After a certain point, there are no shortcuts. Believe me, they have to learn to add, subtract, multiply, divide, even if they never like it.

Yup. Even in homeschooling, sometimes you just have to suck it up. (And that goes for the moms, too!)

New Encyclical and Oldest Christian Bible Now on the Web

All the Catholic world is abuzz today with the publication of Benedict XVI's new encyclical. I applaud all of those who had the time today to read it and report on its contents. Honestly, I haven't gotten there yet. For anyone who is interested in reading it, here is the link:

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20090629_caritas-in-veritate_en.html

Also, the oldest Christian Bible is now on the web. Check it out here: http://www.codexsinaiticus.org/en/