Building Character

Lent is a good time to work on our character. We all have those little aspects of our personality that plague us. If only I could be less jealous, prone to lying, proud, angry, etc. If only I could be more caring, faithful, generous, patient, and the list goes on. It can be so frustrating! We work on our faults, only to find that once again we have fallen back into the muck of our own sinfulness.

Yet, Lent invites us once again to fight the good fight. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen wrote a wonderful article on “Emergence of Character.” (It is included in “From the Angel's Blackboard,” a compilation of his work.) In it, Sheen tells us that we can actually use our faults as stepping stones to sanctity. We can't do it alone, however. We need to pray for God's grace.

Sheen offers a four-step process to overcome our strongest faults:

1)Ask God in prayer to help us be aware of our faults and to give us the strength to conquer the sin.
2)Examine one's conscience daily.
3)Perform a penance every time you succumb to the fault.
4)Turn your weakness into your strength.

Sheen also offers encouragement for those times when we do give into our faults. As he states, “We can fall down and get up; or we can fall down and stay there. . . Sometimes, in the case of a continued weakness, it is well to count not only the falls, but to count also the number of times a temptation to do wrong was overcome.”

This attitude has great value, not only in working on our own faults, but also in helping our children work on theirs. In some ways, our children's faults are more glaring to us than our own. It is always easier to see that speck in your brother's eye, isn't it? In addition, we tend to see these young people as reflections of ourselves. The fault that we overlook when we look in the mirror seems magnified one-hundred fold when it comes out in our children. Still, as parents, we do have that responsibility to help our children work on their faults.

Focusing on the progress that they are making instead of all the times that they fail can help both them and us realize that they are moving in the right direction. As parents, sometimes it is so hard to see the progress (especially when in the midst of sibling battle or temper tantrum #422). Sometimes we have to force ourselves to notice the good. Praying with our children for the weaknesses in their character, teaching them to tell God that they are sorry when they fail and to go to confession if they are old enough, and praising them when they do succeed in overcoming temptation are good steps to take to weed out those blemishes. It is important to have high standards for our children, to expect them to try to be all that God wants them to be. It is also important for our children to know that, like God, we will always forgive them and encourage them to get up and try again.

It is good for our children to see us working on our faults as well. Children learn by our example more than we can ever know and they are very aware of our shortcomings. If they see us struggle and fail and try again and ultimately succeed, this will be more a more powerful lesson than anything we could say. In addition, those faults we triumph over can indeed end up being the strongest part of our character.

Rediscovering Fulton J. Sheen

Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen died in 1979 when I was still a rather small child. I had heard of him and knew that he had hosted a television show in the 1950s, but I had never read anything he wrote or heard him speak. In fact, I dismissed him as just part of the “feel-good” 1950s. What relevance could he possibly have to a woman living in the 21st century? I was wrong.

My mother can't read for any length of time, so she often asks me to read books for her and then summarize them. She recently requested that I read “From the Angel's Blackboard: The Best of Fulton J. Sheen.” She had heard about it on EWTN and wanted to learn more. “From the Angel's Blackboard” is a summary of Sheen's work, a collection of essays on a variety of topics ranging from sanctifying the moment to working on getting rid of bad habits to love to almsgiving and bringing up children. I was very impressed by the depth of his thought.

As it turns out, Sheen was very highly educated, possessing multiple doctorate degrees. He served on the faculty of Catholic University for over twenty years. He also was a master of using modern media to spread the good news. He embraced radio with “The Catholic Hour” and television with his “Life is Worth Living” series. He also wrote 66 books and numerous articles. He was a great evangelizer. He received more mail from non-Catholics than he did from Catholics! He was responsible for the conversion of many souls. He also attended all of Vatican II and worked to implement the reforms it put in place. While some of his work deals with issues of the day, such as communism and Freud, many of his ideas are much more lasting and do, indeed, have relevance for us today. He also serves as a role model for all of us who continue to use modern media to speak about what it means to be Catholic. I have no doubt that if he were alive today, Sheen would be blogging and posting video on the internet.

Sheen spoke with kindness and humor and understanding. He never wanted his audience to feel inferior. Rather, he wanted to meet people where they were and bring them hope and meaning for their lives by pointing them to Jesus. At the very end of his life, he met Pope John Paul II. The Pope privately told the 84-year-old Archbishop that he had been a loyal son of the Church. On September 14th, 2002 the Congregation for the Causes of Saints officially opened the Cause of Archbishop Sheen, and conferred on him the title Servant of God.

Raising Up Mommy

“Raising Up Mommy: Virtues for Difficult Mothering Moments”
by Heidi Hess Saxton
Oldsmar, FL: Simon Peter Press, 2007

Reviewed by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

"Raising Up Mommy: Virtues for Difficult Mothering Moments" by Heidi Hess Saxton is the latest offering in the "Women of Grace LifeGuide Series." In it, Hess Saxton walks readers through the seven deadly sins (pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, sloth, and greed) and some common ways that they tend to manifest themselves in mothers. She even provides a short list of true and false statements for each sin so that one may determine if that sin is a particularly strong pitfall for her.

Do you have a hard time letting anyone else run a program with which you are associated? Do you want people to know about your good deeds? If so, then pride might be an issue for you. Do you hesitate to invite people to your home because you are afraid of what they will think of it? Do you feel your life isn’t as interesting as other people’s? Perhaps it is time to put that envy in check. Have you ever lied about your eating or drinking habits in order to avoid embarrassment? When you are emotionally distraught, do you rely on certain comfort foods to help you feel better? Gluttony might be part of your problem. Do you daydream about former loves? Have you purposely kept part of your past from your husband? Maybe lust is at the heart of the matter. Do you have to apologize for angry outbursts on a regular basis? Do you resort to corporal punishment with your children as a means of venting your own anger? Anger could be poisoning your relationships. Do you spend more than you earn? Do you refuse to give to charity? Greed might be cluttering your life. Are your children always up before you? Do you always take the car even when you could walk to your destination? Sloth might be sucking up your energy.

Yes, it is safe to say that in the course of reading this LifeGuide, you will feel guilty. Don’t give up hope! Hess Saxton offers ways to combat these vices in your life. First, start with the sacrament of confession and a clean state. Then, work on practicing the antidote for each sin, the virtue that beats out the vice. Humility, trust, temperance, modesty, justice, generosity, and prudence are gifts given by God to help us deal with these demons that threaten our spiritual progress and the harmony of our homes. Hess Saxton describes how women can uniquely manifest each of these virtues in light of their own experience. For example, motherhood is a lesson in humility unto itself.

Hess Saxton’s writing style is conversational in tone. She freely shares her own shortcomings and offers humorous anecdotes about her own life. She acknowledges that she is on the journey with the rest of us and that “she has a long way to go.” This fact gives this work greater credibility. Hess Saxton invites us to do battle with the "mommy monsters" that plague our lives by taking advantage of the tools in our arsenal: prayer, the sacraments, and virtue. Following her instructions will help us on our spiritual journey and our journey of motherhood.

To purchase, visit the Women of Grace website at: http://womenofgrace.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=310

Random Acts of Kindness

It is a little late, but February 11 - 17 was "Random Acts of Kindness" week in the US. Still, kindness never goes out of fashion no matter what week it is. For some good ideas on how to spread kindness in the world, check out The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.

Do something nice for someone today :)

Our hearts thirst for God

This is the Responsorial Psalm for today from Psalm 42 and 43;

R. (see 42:3) Athirst is my soul for the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
As the hind longs for the running waters,
so my soul longs for you, O God.
R. Athirst is my soul for the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
Athirst is my soul for God, the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
R. Athirst is my soul for the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
Send forth your light and your fidelity;
they shall lead me on
And bring me to your holy mountain,
to your dwelling-place.
R. Athirst is my soul for the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
Then will I go in to the altar of God,
the God of my gladness and joy;
Then will I give you thanks upon the harp,
O God, my God!
R. Athirst is my soul for the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?


We spend our whole lives looking for God, trying to get back home. My spiritual director tells it this way: before we were born, an angel kissed us, and ever since we have been trying to get back there. St. Augustine phrased it as "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you." Whatever the wording, it is true. Our hearts ache for that feeling of happiness and security and peace that only God can provide. We may try to fill our hearts with all the stuff of this world but we will only come up empty. We are sojourners here, people on a journey. With God's word as our compass, we trust that we will find our way.

Does the Church Exist for Today or Tomorrow?

What is the purpose of the Church? Does it exist to bring us happiness today or to lead us to salvation and happiness for the world to come? Father Dwight Longenecker raised this question in “The Tale of 2 Churches” which appeared in the February 10th issue of the National Catholic Register. He argues that rather than “liberal” vs. “conservative”, “right wing” vs. “left wing”, or “charismatic” vs. “traditionalist”, the answer to this question defines what type of Catholicism one believes in.

Longenecker is a convert to the faith and comes down squarely on the side of the Church existing for the world to come. As he states, “If this is your basic assumption, than your expectations for this life are realistic. You consider yourself and other people, while created in God’s good image, to also be sinners who need redemption and daily discipline. You believe in the reality of evil and consider this life to be the place and time to engage in spiritual warfare for the winning of souls.” Longenecker rejects the idea of organized religion as a self-help group. He claims that people will not find the “instant happiness” that they seek in religion and will soon become disillusioned and move on.

On the other side of the argument, “Dear Abby” recently asked her readers what was the cause of the most problems in the world today. One reader answered “organized religion” because it was too concerned with the world to come rather than focusing on the here and now.

What, then, is the purpose of religion, especially Catholicism? Should we view our faith purely in terms of the eternal, or should our focus be on the world within our grasp? Unlike Longenecker, I disagree that the two are mutually exclusive. I ground that answer in the role model that Jesus provided.

Jesus came to bring us salvation. He routinely claimed that his kingdom was not of this world. He came to forgive sins and extend to us the gift of eternal life. Yet, he did not neglect the world and the people that surrounded him. He healed those who were sick. He did not tell them to wait for the world to come to be made whole. He did not even make them wait for the Sabbath to be over, much to the chagrin of the religious leaders of his day. He brought comfort whenever he could. In forgiving souls, he brought peace and yes, happiness, to those he ministered to. Jesus instructed us to both love God (the eternal sphere) and to love our neighbor (the here and now). The two are intimately interconnected. We serve and love God by serving and loving our neighbor wherever and however we find them.

Our faith should bring us joy and happiness in our life here on earth. Yes, life here on earth is a struggle. Yes, there is pain and suffering. Yes, it is a battleground of good vs. evil. Yes, we are sinners in need of redemption. But, those that hope in the Lord have a happiness and peace that transcends all others. One needs only to look at the lives of the great saints to know that this is true. Following Jesus is the way to joy both in this world and the world to come.

Calling all Women: Do You Know Your Power?

This article was originally printed on Catholic Exchange on Feb. 22, 2008 and is reprinted with permission of author Cheryl Dickow.

"It is evident that women are meant to form part of the living and working structure of Christianity in so prominent a manner that perhaps not all their potentialities have yet been made clear." When John Paul II wrote Mulieris Dignitatem, his 1988 Apostolic Letter on the Dignity and Vocation of Women, he freely referred to the discourses of Paul VI, Pius XII, and John XXIII to shore up his own firm belief that women, when imbued with the Gospel, are bearers of gifts, charisms, and power (yes, he uses the word power) intended to "aid humanity in not falling."

Imagine, "aid humanity in not falling." That's a powerful statement of a woman's effectiveness and ability. So, a full twenty years after feminists took center stage and burned bras, declared their equality, and mandated a way of thinking that threw families into turmoil, John Paul II earnestly tried to set the record straight. In his document, Mulieris Dignitatem, JPII begins by exhorting what he calls "the greatness of the dignity and vocation of women." It can be no surprise that our beloved Pope, himself in a Mary-honoring relationship, would proclaim such great news within the Church and to Catholic women everywhere. One cannot be in right relationship with Christ, and His mother, and not know that Christ's entire Messianic time on earth was exemplary in the way in which He broke with the traditional ways in which women had been mistreated to make a point. The point, as John Paul II lovingly describes, is that women understood Christ's messages of God in a special and thoroughly unique way, a necessary way.

JPII brings into our consciousness an awareness of the women Jesus encountered and why it could be said that "Jesus' attitude to the women whom he meets in the course of his Messianic service reflects the eternal plan of God, who, in creating each one of them, chooses her and loves her in Christ": Simon's mother-in-law, the woman who had the flow of blood, the widow of Nain, and the Canaanite woman, to name a few. Throughout the document on the dignity and vocation of women, JPII continually draws us back to the eternal truth of a woman's worth due to her creation by God and boldly states that woman's creation was for its own sake, just as was man's, and it is an error to view God's punishment as a result of the first sin ("he shall rule over you") to be anything other than an evil inheritance for BOTH man and woman.

In other words, where our world has interpreted that Scripture verse salaciously, JPII eloquently reminds us that God's original intention was for a more perfect union between man and woman. Equality was originally intended to be a measure of sameness as created beings in the likeness of God. Equal but different. Indeed, when JPII writes, "In the 'unity of the two,' man and woman are called from the beginning not only to exist 'side by side' or 'together,' but they are also called to exist mutually 'one for the other,"' there is no mistaking that in subjugating either of God's highest creations, both creatures suffer and this was never God's plan for humankind.

Whether in regard to the societal misinterpretation of such verses as Genesis 3:16 or due to women's general misunderstanding of their own inherent worth, the "feminist" long ago gained momentum at the expense of what JPII refers to as her own "feminine genius" when she chose to pursue, at great danger, her own "masculinization." In many ways it would seem that feminism, as a means to masculinize the female species, is incompatible with the Church but most certainly incompatible with what JPII exhorts in Mulieris Dignitatem. This is to say that a Christian woman who lives and understands her call as a disciple of Christ cannot also find herself on the "feminist" path where her own gifts are seen as anything less than monumental, gifts to be employed for God and for His kingdom. When a feminist claims that a woman is only fulfilled when she occupies a "man's" role in life, she is simultaneously saying to a Christian woman, "The plan God has for you is less than what you should want for yourself." Sound serpent-like?

Additionally, it should be abundantly clear that a Christian man diminishes his own dignity and vocation when he suppresses a woman's worth and calling. As said earlier, man is also a created being made in the image and likeness of God. As such, he cannot be called by his Creator to be anything less than loving, compassionate, wise, and forgiving in how he attempts to live out his life on earth. A Christian man understands how he is called to love his wife just as Christ loves the Church. As JPII states, "The bridegroom is the one who loves. The bride is loved." What a beautiful illustration of God's intention when Christ made Himself the bridegroom! A Christian man, then, conforms his own will to the will of God and in doing so, frees his wife to be all that God has called her to be and to fulfill her vocation in the midst of love.

But how are Christian women called? Once we get back to the basics, sans feminist messages to masculinize ourselves, and embrace our own inherent worth, we are able to find anointed role models in Scripture regardless of the different times in our lives. Has God called you to a position of great territorial authority like Queen Esther? Has He blessed you with a family in which you affect the world by the way in which you love and nurture your spouse and children? Or has HaShem called you to remain anonymous while you diligently work for Him just as Noah's wife did? If Adonai has done the bidding, how can you refuse?

I would suggest that God counted on the women in Noah's life, Moses' life, Abraham's life, and Isaac's life just as he counted on the men. Imagine if these women had mistakenly bought into a message that their worth wasn't in fulfilling God's role but in pursuing roles designated by their pagan neighbors or their jealous adversaries. This isn't to say that each of these women, and others like them, were without faults, but that in their faults, and in their stumbling, they provide more of an example on how to live as a Christian woman today than any television personality or best selling self help book. They were the perfect women John Paul II wrote of when he said, "The perfect woman becomes an irreplaceable support and source of spiritual strength for other people, who perceive the great energies of her spirit. These 'perfect women' are owed much by their families, and sometimes by whole nations."

If you are ready to leave all the secular messages behind and would like to spend time discovering the richness of such women as Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Leah, Zipporah, Ruth, The Blessed Mother, and others, please join us in our unique, online women's study. If you are looking for confirmation that the gift of self is a beautiful and essential gift you give as a woman of God, you will be nourished by this study. If you are looking for a great Easter present for your mother, sister, aunt, or best friend, we offer gift notification emails; or if you are looking for a flexible way to obtain credits for your DRE, we provide certificates of completion upon DRE approval. Registration is currently underway and we hope you'll join us for some laughter, a few tears, and a whole lot of revelation and see why women are saying...

I really appreciate what you have done! So many other online courses are very expensive and you have, admirably, kept the cost minimal. The flexibility of the schedule is fantastic! I am a physician, educator and mother of four — flexibility is key! For women who are not completely computer savvy, having your book is helpful. It is easier to meditate with a book in your hands than a laptop on your desk, in my opinion. Your writing is infused with great love and respect for God and the Church — a stark contrast to the media that accosts us daily...I have told everyone about this and am buying it for my sister as a birthday present! ~ Jean

It has been an amazing journey. A very fulfilling study which has brought so many beautiful women together to share joys and sorrows, happiness and trials. There hasn't been one week that has passed where I haven't been able to apply someone's thoughts to my own life. It is so comforting to know that there are so many spiritual, prayerful women out there in this often godless world that we live in. What a gift to be connected to them through this study! ~ Colleen



Cheryl Dickow is a Catholic author, speaker, and teacher with a Master's Degree in Education. Her books are available on Amazon and on her website www.BezalelBooks.com.

She is the moderator for Catholic Exchange's online Women's Study celebrating the dignity and vocation of women. There are two remaining sessions of the study in 2008:

Spring Session -- April 7 - June 14

Fall Session -- September 8 - November 22

Registration is under way for the spring session. Women interested in using this class towards catechetical credits are encouraged to contact their DRE (or whichever organization they belong to) with the general information about the study and receive permission prior to registering. Certificates of Completion will be available to all participants who request one at the time of registration. Gift certificates toward registration are available for friends and family. For more information click here.