Monday, November 24, 2008

"Dear Mother" letters

I recently heard about the Mother Letter Project-the project devoted to collecting letters from mothers, to mothers.

Simply stated, I am collecting a series of “open letters” from mothers, to mothers. I am asking you to share your stories—no matter how raw or difficult. Share you concerns or worries—no matter how foolish they may seem. Share your wisdom—no matter how you came by it. Share your mother story. The only request? Start the letter “Dear Mother” and sign it. I will compile all of the letters in a Christmas book for both my wife AND YOU. If you share a letter before Christmas you will receive a copy of the Mother Letters. Submit your letter by emailing your letter to motherletter@gmail.com.

As my best friend is about to give birth to her first child, I chose to write my letter to her and others who are also about to embark on the amazing journey of motherhood. This is what I submitted:

Dear Mother about to give birth,

Welcome to the world of motherhood! It is the hardest, most wonderful adventure you will ever go on. You have said that it scares you when someone says that “Your life is over,” or reminds you of all the ways life is going to change. It isn't so much that your life is over, as it is that life as you know it is over. The you that you have come to know and love up to now will be replaced by someone that you may not even recognize for a while. You may find yourself looking in a mirror and wondering where it is that that woman went to. You may wonder how things that mattered so much no longer seem to matter much at all. You may wonder what you used to do with all your time when you thought you were so busy, because your whole life now revolves around another person and the very act of taking a shower now seems like a great accomplishment. You may wonder if life will ever be “normal” again.

Yes, life will be “normal” again, but it will be a new “normal,” a “normal” like you have never known before – where love for this small helpless person will define all that you are and all that you do. You will become a new, better version of you. You will go from being a woman to being a mother. It won't happen overnight, but one day you will wake up and you will feel like a mother. The transition will be complete. Give yourself time to adjust to your new role. Be kind to yourself. Get sleep whenever and however you can. Try to do something you enjoy each day – even if it is for just 5 minutes. Pray – if there was ever a time in your life when you needed divine assistance, this is it. God gave you your child. Only He has the blueprints. Ask for help when you need it. Accept help when it is offered. Most of all, enjoy your new baby. Right now, it may seem impossible, but that tiny baby will grow up so quickly! Cherish every moment!

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