I just got my latest Bible study book (a friend of mine was kind enough to order and pick them up for all of us at a local Catholic store). Just flipping through it, I can tell it's another book that is going to cause me pain. I go to my weekly Bible Study because I like the women there and because it gives my children an opportunity to play with their friends. When I started homeschooling, I knew I didn't want to homeschool alone. I wanted to have a community to do it with, and I am so very thankful to have these women in my life. They are all great people.
That being said, these Bible Study books and the conversations that surround them seem set up to make me feel inadequate. I consider my two hours at Bible Study to be my exercise in humility for the week. I'm a quiet person by nature, so mostly I just sit and listen. A lot of times, I just want to go home and cry. I guess it is just me, because the other women all love these books. My life certainly doesn't measure up to the standard extolled in these books, nor will it ever. I've come to accept the imperfect version of myself, that I am a work in progress that will never be complete. It's taken me a long time to come to that acceptance, to let go of the need to be perfect in every way. I'm sure I will pick up a tidbit or two out of this book. There will probably be a couple blog posts that will come out of it. Mostly, though, I am just trying to prepare myself for all the negative feelings that will come my way from reading it.
Does anyone else out there feel like they are being held to a standard they can't possibly meet? How do you deal with it?