A Discouraged St. Catherine of Siena

I am currently reading Catherine of Siena: A Passionate Life by Don Brophy (review to come soon). Truly, St. Catherine of Siena is not a saint I identify with very much. I spent some serious time researching her for a paper I did in graduate school, and my sister took her name for her confirmation name (yes, I can see my sister identifying with her) and still, she doesn't really speak to me. That's the beauty of having so many role models in heaven - there is someone for everyone. Yet, her story is an interesting one and one we should all be aware of. She is one of those rare women who changed the course of history. That being said, I found this paragraph in this biography very interesting:

Her whole life, she sometimes thought, was a chronicle of falling short. She had longed to become a martyr in a crusade, but that desire was not realized. She had yearned to purify the church, but succeeded only with her famiglia, and perhaps not even then. She wished to be an instrument of peace but sat unemployed and marginalized in Florence. She still hoped that her book might advance the store of grace in a small way. Yet what she most desired was to place her body and her whole self on the altar of sacrifice. That greater gift, so earnestly offered, seemed to be ignored by God, and that, she concluded, had to be caused by some imperfection in herself.

Somehow, I take comfort in knowing that even saints got discouraged.