One of the first things I learned when going to graduate school studying theology was that everyone is on his or her own spiritual journey. There is no one right path to God and God can certainly work with the messiness of life and bring some amazing things out of it. I'm doing a project that involves researching thousands of saints. While there are some similar stories among them, each one followed God in his or her own way, in the midst of different vocations, and in spite of some rather colorful pasts. Some of the greatest sinners have gone on to become the greatest saints. With God, all things are possible.
Of course, as parents, we have the responsibility to raise our children in the faith. Going to Mass is NOT optional. Instructing them in the faith and forming their consciences is an important duty not to be neglected. Yet, even with children, the day will come in which they choose to make the faith their own, or even though it will totally break my heart, choose not to. At which point, all I will be able to do is pray and entrust them to God.
The same goes for other adults I love, whether they be family members or friends. I want all of them to be the people God wants them to be and to ultimately find joy with Him in heaven. Yet, I do not have the ability to "force" any of these people to obey the commandments or have a personal relationship with God. All I can do is live my faith as best I can and pray and pray and pray for those I care about to make good decisions.
I know I am far from perfect. I need God's mercy as much as anyone. I trust in God's mercy for those I love as well. In the end, it is all in God's hands. He can work miracles. I only see one tiny piece of the puzzle. He sees the whole picture. I need to trust in Him.