Thursday, December 29, 2016

My New Year's Resolution: Indulge my Creativity

I generally don't do well with New Year's Resolutions. Those self-improvement projects tend to fall by the wayside quickly. When I set goals for myself that I don't meet I feel horrible about myself which isn't great for someone who regularly fights depression. I don't need any help feeling horrible about myself.

But, I am a very project-oriented person, reasonably good at time management. I have lots of work projects I'd like to accomplish this year. The reality is that I most likely won't be able to accomplish all of them, which is okay. What I want to do on a personal side is embrace my artistic side a bit more. I love art, so much so that I majored in art in college.

I firmly believe the world needs art and beauty and those who take the time to embrace and appreciate the beauty. But since those college days, my relationship with pure art (like drawing and painting) has been complex at best. I was never able to make it as a fine artist. I've only sold a handful of pieces in my life. What this means is that if I create a piece of art, it then dies a long, lonely death in my closet, taking up space, reminding me that no one wants what I have to offer, adding to my depression and feelings of worthlessness.

So, I channel my creative energy into other projects. Writing is one outlet, one in which I feel I make a contribution to the world. Quilting is another. I enjoy my Saturday night quilting projects. I may only create one quilt a year, but it keeps me busy and when I am done, I have a useful end product that can keep someone warm. But, I still miss the act of drawing.

Which brings me to my project. I've decided to spend 10 minutes a day doing a small sketch. I can squeeze 10 minutes into my day. I picked up a sketchbook at Staples yesterday. I wanted a pretty one, but all they had were black covers, so I decorated it today using magazine pictures and ModPodge to seal it. I like how it came out. That was a creative project in and of itself. And now, my sketchbook is ready for me to begin on Sunday. It gives me something to look forward to in the New Year and that is something to be thankful for.

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