The Heart of Motherhood

Check out my review of the new book "The Heart of Motherhood" by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle at
http://www.spiritualwoman.net/Books/HeartofMotherhood.html

Denunciation of the Pharisee in us all

Today's Gospel reading (Matthew 23:37-32) has Jesus chewing out the Pharisees:

"On the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and evildoing." (Mt 23:28)

Mithc Finley writing in today's Living Faith talks about the Pharisee in us all. We all try to appear to be "Good Christians" (and that definition changes depending on who we may be with at the time) to others yet inside we all have our battles with sin. We all have parts of ourselves that we try to hide from other people. We all wear masks and try to appear better than we are. Finley invites us to pray "Lord Jesus, help me to be true to you and to myself." I would add "and please help root out the evil that lies within." Amen.

A Solo Mass for David

Bernie and I take the boys to mass every Sunday morning which is always an adventure. Every once in a while, however, it is a pleasure to go by myself and actually focus on the liturgical celebration instead of whatever trouble my children may be causing at the given moment. Tonight I had that opportunity. My boss called earlier today and said I didn't need to come in tonight. Bernie and the boys still had their weekly date at Grandma's house for supper so I had a couple hours to myself and my parish has a Tuesday evening 5:30 mass. It's a short liturgy - 15 minutes, but it felt good to check in with God. I offered it up for David as he starts school next Tuesday and for me to accept that reality as well as I should.

I've been stressing so much about him starting school and it isn't even that I'm going to miss him (which I will). I'm just concerned that he isn't going to be able to cope and that every day he will cry and I will have to force him to go like I did with swimming lessons this summer and quite frankly, I don't have the heart for it. Two weeks I could survive - 9 months I can't do.

Academically, I think he will be fine. He knows his letters and numbers and after 7 months of practice can write his whole name. He just started learning to read - the lightbulb suddenly went off last week and little words started to make sense to him - it was wonderful to experience! But I worry about bathroom issues because he still asks for help sometimes and they aren't going to help him. I worry because zippers and buttons and snaps still give him a hard time. They said he had to be able to tie his shoes which we have practiced and practiced and he almost has it figured out. To be on the safe side, I got him velcros! I'm also worried because he likes to talk so much. In the afternoon they have a half-hour rest period in which they are supposed to lay down and be quiet. I don't think David has been quiet for a half-hour since he learned how to talk!

So, prayers are needed, for my son to be brave and for me to be calm, and hopefully all will go well.

Walking with the Saints

I've been reading "My Life with the Saints" by Fr. James Martin, SJ. It is a spiritual memoir in which Fr. Martin shares how he became acquainted with various saints and what prompted him to want to learn more about these models of holiness. Different saints have provided him inspiration and aid at the varying stages of his life. Among them are the plastic St. Jude statue that was relegated to his sock drawer when he was a teenager, Thomas Merton who in many ways was responsible for Fr. Martin's movement toward the priesthood, and Pope John XXIII who provided a model for living a chaste celibate life.

The saints have been my friends as well as I have moved through life. When I was a young girl, my mother would take me to "The Open Window" - our diocesan bookstore - where I could pick out books on the saints. The ones I remember most were written by Fr. Lawrence Lovasik. Each page featured a beautiful painting of a saint and his or her corresponding bibliography. Once I was able to read more fluently, I devoured the saints' lives in our Catholic school library with a vengeance, so much so that the school librarian actually suggested I broaden my horizons and read something else. (I know she meant well - she had no idea that I would actually spend my life studying theology!) My mother had a deep devotion to St. Therese and at the age of eight or nine I read her autobiography "The Story of a Soul." Looking back, I imagine much of the book probably went over my head at that time, but how I wanted to be like her! Her "Little Way" was something even a child could understand. I wanted to be holy like the saints were holy.

Of course, as a teenager, my devotion to the saints wavered a bit. I still prayed to them, of course. St. Anthony is foolproof when searching for lost objects! And St. Anne, whose name I took for my confirmation, I prayed to for meeting a good man and to make the right decision about getting married. I have always prayed to St. Therese for my sister (who bears her name). And St. Jude was always there for lost causes. But along the way I learned that many of the things we know about saints' lives are mostly legends and this diminished them in my adolescent opinion. In college and graduate school, the saints didn't get much attention either - the exception being a course I took on "A Reasoned Faith" which focused on Augustine, Anselm and Aquinas, and one on "Christian Spirituality" which introduced me to the likes of Teresa of Avila, Edith Stein, and Dorothy Day.

As an adult, however, I have come to appreciate the saints even more. I obviously have more to pray for these days and it is a great benefit to have these holy persons intercede on one's behalf. St. Anne watches over my children and helps me to be a good mother. St. Jude and St. Peregrine help those I know who are ill and/or battling cancer. St. Therese is still busy watching over my sister and her family. But I have also come to appreciate the role models the saints provide. In reading about them, one becomes aware of their humanity. These people failed. Many of them lived sinful lives before their conversion. They faced temptations, lost loved ones, suffered from illnesses, and faced the dark night of the soul. Through it all, however, they retained their faith and trust in God. They sought God's will instead of their own. Their ways of being holy are as different as each human is from every other. God calls us each to be holy in our own way and that is remarkably comforting.

Now, I am introducing my own children to these amazing people and the help they can provide. We have been using "Catholic Cardlinks" by Thomas Craughwell and reading one saint a night before bed. They and I have learned wonderful things like St. Brigid is the patron saint of students, particularly appropriate since David is starting Kindergarten, and that St. Raphael protects against bad dreams. We now pray to that particular angel on a regular basis. The children have been enjoying these stories greatly and it has helped them appreciate the whole communion of saints, that there are all these holy people up in heaven just waiting to help them out. I hope as they grow that they will develop a friendship with at least one or two of them. Like Fr. Martin in "My Life with the Saints," we should all go through life walking with the saints by our side.

Sure Sign of Fall

The calendar may still say August but it has felt decidedly fall-like in these parts. My boys picked up these colored leaves on our walk yesterday. And today was cool and damp enough to break out the jeans and long-sleeve shirts. Of course, the first time I do that each late summer/ fall I realize that my boys no longer fit in their clothes. (For some reason that thought does not cross my mind until I actually attempt to put the clothes on them!) Of course, Isaac is no problem. I simply take David's clothes and put them in Isaac's bureau drawers. David, on the other hand, ends up looking like a rag-a-muffin. Thankfully, his size 6 pants which were long on him in the Spring now fit him, but he definitely needs some new shirts. That's on my to-do list for this week.

Center for Spiritual Direction Updates

For those of you who live in Western, MA, I just posted the Fall schedule of workshops at the Center for Spiritual Direction including an "Exploring Watercolor" workshop by yours truly.

New Website Updates

Here are some new articles I just posted on the website. The first two deal with praying to God when we are angry at God or feel God is nowhere to be found. The last is a new Book Review. The book isn't coming out until next month so enjoy the sneak peek!

Dear God, I'm Mad As Hell

Where Are You Lord?


HolyLand USA: A Catholic Ride Through America's Evangelical Landscape by Peter Feuerherd