Small Sacrifices

Today, Bernie and I decided to take the boys on an impromptu trip through the Berkshire hills today. A friend of mine had recommended Mass MOCA - the "Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art" located in North Adams. They have a third-floor "Kidspace" section which is free on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. I love art museums. I was an art major in college and actually interned at an art museum one summer. I feel so at home among works of art - they give me energy and bring me happiness. It was a two-hour ride to the museum and my children are not the best of travelers, although they are getting better. We stopped for a break after an hour each way and that seemed to help. We all survived in tact. The children loved the museum - they are having a special exhibit on musical instruments created out of found objects. We were the only ones there and the young woman working the exhibit was so kind to the boys. She got right down on the floor with them and helped them make guitars out of cereal boxes and rubber bands. They were in their glory! It really was a wonderful day - 5 year old David said, "It was the most fun I've had all week!" and he is looking forward to making more instruments tomorrow.

The last time I had been up in that section of our state was in 1999 when Bernie and I had spent a wonderful vacation staying at a Bed and Breakfast and exploring Williamstown - the home of Williams College and the Clark Art Museum. Needless to say, our lives have changed a great deal since then. In the days before the children came along, we would spend our free time exploring antique shops, used bookstores, and art museums. In good weather, we also played quite a bit of tennis. Needless to say, those days are now firmly behind us. We now spend our time in kid-friendly locales. We spend much time at the park. The only museums we visit are ones that cater to kids. The bookstores have been replaced by the library (what would we do without the library?!) And the tennis that gets played involves gently bouncing a ball to David and Isaac so that they can try to hit it.

Parenting does require sacrifices, some small and some large. Some sacrifices (like not having regular nights of sleep when the children were very young) are more painful than others. Some cause you to make substitutions to feed the need within you. For example, I now feed my need for art and beauty by reading art and home decor magazines. One thing that I have realized, however, is that the sacrifices are very temporary.

Sure, it doesn't feel that way sometimes. As I spent night after night up with Isaac (who did not sleep through the night until he was two), there were times I felt that I could not survive one more day. Looking back, however, the time seems to have passed in a blink of an eye. The same with taking trips in the car. When David was very small, he could not bear to be in the car for more than a half-hour. He would scream and wail and kick. Now the kids entertain each other. They look at magazines and play with toys and talk to one another. This makes trips like the one we took today possible. And yes, I know the day will come when I can actually take the boys to a grown-up art gallery and trust that they will not touch anything. The day will also come when Bernie and I will again be alone and we will have the opportunity to revisit some of our old haunts, and perhaps discover some new ones. While that is something to dream about, I am in no rush to get there.

Yes, parenting does require sacrifice, but it also has amazing rewards. I will never tire of my children's hugs and kisses, or dandelion bouquets given in love. I love the feeling of little hands in mine as we go for a walk. My children have helped me see the world in new ways. As I help them learn, I also learn new things. I can honestly say that I am never bored. Before I know it, my children will grow up and leave, eager to make their own way in the world. The art and antiques and leisurely afternoons at bookstores will still be there when they do.