It's Not Fair!

When David had just turned one-year old, we found out that he had life-threatening allergies to peanuts and eggs. There is really only one way to find out this information and that is through scary trips to the emergency room where they teach you how to use an epipen and give you long lists of foods you need to avoid (which include not only items that actually have the offensive ingredient but also items that may have come in contact with that ingredient in a factory or kitchen). As a result, the past four years of our lives have been spent egg and nut free and we have adjusted to it.

Because there is a genetic component to allergies, we have treated Isaac as if he were allergic since the day he was born. Ultimately, however, we knew the day would come when we would have to expose him (for a second time because that's when the allergic reaction occurs) to peanuts and eggs in order to find out for sure. That day came last Monday. As it turns out, Isaac is perfectly fine. While that is obviously good news, David was not amused. "It's not fair - he can eat anything he wants and I can't!" It has been over a week and David is still stuck on this.

The thing is, though, that he is absolutely right. It isn't fair. Isaac will never have to worry about what he can or cannot eat at a party. He does not need to carry an epipen with him everywhere he goes. He does not need to live in fear that he will die from a peanut. I am at a loss of how to comfort David or how to explain why he is different. I told him that God made him and Isaac the way that they are and they are each unique, just like he has brown hair and Isaac has blonde hair. I don't want him to blame God, though. I recall a line from "Anne of Green Gables," one of my favorite stories: "Someone told me that God made my hair red and I have never cared for him since!"

Life isn't fair. Why are some children born with genius IQ's and others born severely learning disabled? Why are some gifted athletes, and others born without use of their limbs? Why do we live in a comfortable home while others live in cardboard boxes on the streets? Why do some people live to be 100 and others die in infancy? I've heard it said that God has his reasons which reason cannot understand, but that doesn't really stop us from trying to comprehend, does it? We ask the questions and get angry, and hope that maybe it does all work out in the end.

David has his allergies for a reason. They are part of who he us. In some way they will aid in building his character and help him become the man God has made him to be. And I hope that he will somehow come to terms with the fact that life isn't fair, and not blame God in the process. Maybe if David gets it all figured out, he can explain it to me! In the meantime, I will keep holding on to my faith and trust that God does know what he is doing.