Sunday Morning Blues

Three-and-a-half-year-old Isaac has never enjoyed going to Church. He views Sundays with a dread most adults reserve for root canals. When he was two he used to throw himself on the floor and start screaming before we would even leave the house. We would try to not tell him where we would going, but he knew the way and as soon as he saw we were going there, the screaming would begin. I would spend my time at mass with him in the crying room. Sometimes, I could entertain him a bit with a book or a toy. Once he was three, however, he calmed down a bit and I told him he was a "big boy" now and needed to sit in the main part of the Church with Daddy and his 5 year-old brother David. We go to the Children's Mass (thank goodness!) where absolute silence isn't essential - just a willingness to stay in the pew and be reasonably well behaved. To date, we had survived there. Generally, he will sit with the missalette, pretend he is reading and tell himself stories which usually have nothing to do with anything going on at mass, and periodically ask "When will this be done?."

Today, however, he threw a temper tantrum worthy of the most terrible two! He just wouldn't sit still and wouldn't cooperate at all. Everytime I picked him up to move him or to tell him to be quiet, he would scream out "Let me go! You are hurting me!" I told him that if I had to take him out of Church he would not get to play Solitaire the rest of the day (his favorite game) and he would not get a "Pop-Tart" for a snack which is what he was trying to argue with David about in Church. (Yes, I know you are not supposed to use food as a reward or punishment but sometimes, especially with Isaac, this is all that works.) Well, he would not quiet down and I had to take him out.

He proceeded to throw himself on the ground outside and wail for the next twenty minutes because he had lost his "Pop-Tart." Thankfully, I had already planned to go to the 5:30 mass this evening because I was scheduled to lector, so I wasn't upset about missing mass. I just stood there and let him scream. When David and my husband came out of Church, we took him to the car where he continued to cry on the way home, until finally he went through the door, took off his socks and shoes, grabbed his security blanket, laid down on the couch and went to sleep. After that experience, I wished that I could have done the same.

I have never figured out the secret for having my children behave in Church. I even pray for them to behave in Church, along with praying that they sleep all night so that I am not exhausted, and that they both use the potty all the time when they need to! (Yes, I do take even mundane things such as this to God in prayer!) They are two busy boys who do not like to sit still. With David it mostly just took time. After he was four, he began to act better and now he does fairly well. I hope the same will be true of Isaac. Putting children on a time-out in Church doesn't work because the screaming that generally accompanies it isn't appropriate there. Taking them out of Church seems to be just reinforcing the behavior because what they really want is to not be there. Besides, I want to be at Church. So, I do what I did today and take away a privilege if they don't behave. Maybe Isaac learned a lesson today - Maybe by tomorrow he will have completely forgotten. When we were saying prayers tonight, he did tell God he was sorry for having an "attitude" today. In any case, next Sunday is another day for us. Please say a prayer that we all survive!