Saturday, May 12, 2007

Following Visions

"One night Paul had a vision: a Macedonian appeared and kept urging him in these words, 'Come across to Macedonia and help us.' Once he had seen this vision we lost no time in arranging a passage to Macedonia, convinced that God had called us to bring them the good news." Acts 16:9-10

I envy Paul. He sees a vision and follows it, trusting that it is from God and that He should follow. When I get sudden inspiration, I overthink it. I weigh all sides of the issue, get bogged down in details, and in the process generally lose my enthusiasm for the idea. I question whether God has given me the inspiration or whether it is some misguided notion on my part. I torture my spiritual director with my indecision and pray, pray, and pray some more for some definite sign to come. I almost never feel sure in my decisions. Yes, I think we can safely say that if God had sent me this vision instead of Paul, the Macedonians might never have been told the good news.

Just this week, I was sitting on my deck, reading a book, when I got smacked over the head with an idea for something I should do. This doesn't happen to me often when some radical new direction for my life suddenly seems like a good idea. I sat there and said, "Really, God, you must be kidding. Me?" I started thinking about the time involved in this project and whether I was qualified and whether the people I would need to work with would even be interested. And yet, the pull is still there. Should I be like St. Paul and follow the Spirit or should I stay in my comfort zone? Time to pray.

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